Matt Discovers Fanfiction
by angelcorrupted
Summary: Matt, bored from the easiness of Mello's hacking requests, goes on the Internet and stumbles upon a thing called fanfiction. Parodies many fanfictions and cosplayers.. Rated T to be safe, that may change. One sided MxM, mentions of MxN&LxL. ON HIATUS.
1. Discovery

If I owned Death Note, L, Matt, and Mello would still be alive. Are they? I didn't think so, therefore Death Note is not mine.

* * *

_Damn Mello and his child's play hacking wants._

The nineteen year old gamer stared blankly at his computer screen, which showed a picture of a happy little Mario smiling back at him. He was bored out of his mind, and he had easily hacked into all the computers Mello had wanted him to. Boredom didn't sit well with the redhead, and he cursed himself silently for forgetting to recharge his Nintendo DS.

An over dramatic sigh fell from his lips as he flopped back again the couch, glaring at his computer. His eyes darted around the screen for a moment before they landed on the icon for the Internet. He never really used to the Internet unless it was for researching the Kira case. He rolled his eyes to himself as he leaned forward again, double clicking on the pixels.

However, just pulling up the Internet never worked when it came to seizing boredom. What, did you expect Matt to point at the screen and go 'Yay! New thingy popped up!' and clap his hands together like a young child? No. Now he needed to think up something to search for or look up, and Matt just wasn't up to par on that.

The redhead pulled at is gloves, pulling them up farther on his fingers as he thought about what to search.

Matt? No, there were billions of people named Matt in the world, let alone the Internet.

Mail Jeevas? Since his name was spelled as 'male' he'd probably get things regarding the post office or some shit like that.

Mello? He'd probably just end up getting the word 'mellow'.

Mihael Keehl? He had to admit that Mello did have a highly unusual name, so he filled the blank search engine space with the letters, lazily hitting the enter button. The gamer took a quick swig of the soda next to him, nearly spitting it out and choking on it at the same time as he looked at the results. Every single one of them pertained to the Mihael he knew, at least the little descriptions lead him to believe such.

He scrolled through the results, noticing some talk about Mello's life in the Mafia, Mello and Near getting into fights during Wammy's – wait how did anybody know about Wammy's House? - and Mello and himself being together.

All of these were different, and Matt couldn't help but look completely dumbfounded. Who the hell _were_ these people? How did they know Mello's real name? Matt's real name? About Wammy's House and that Mello and Near were rivals, that the two M's were best friends, and that L had died?! Were these some psychos who just happened to get most stuff right??

His green eyes scanned the site name in which all of these had came from, almost choking on another gulp of soda as he noticed they were all from the same fucking site.

_What in the name of Mario Kart is fanfiction?_

He blinked, studying the descriptions of each of these articles on the site. Truth be told, Matt was slightly afraid of clicking on one of them, in case it gave his beloved laptop a virus because it tricked him into clicking on it by magically coming up with a description that would lure him into it's filthy grasp.

He would not fall for it. He cherished his computer games and his hacking equipment way too much.

A frown pulled the edges of his lips down as he stared at the search engine, his fingers twitching due to temptation to read what one of these things said. There was one about him and Mello meeting up on a swingset in a park right after Mello's burn. True, that wasn't how that event happened but he was curious...

The door burst open just as Matt was about to click on the item, and he squeaked slightly, closing out of the Internet. If the blonde caught him looking him up on the Internet, he'd be pissed. It was weird enough that he was on the Internet, let alone looking stuff up on him.

"Did you do it?" Mello's voice snapped the gamer out of the horrible visuals going in his mind, most consisting of what Mello would do to him. The others were of his DS being able to talk and tell him he was the worst gamer in gaming history.

"Mmhmm, it was pure child's play." he responded, grinning up at the other male. There was no denying that he was adorable, and that gave Matt a fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach. So he had a crush on his bestest friend in the entire universe, what else was new?

The blonde fell back onto the couch next to him, chocolate bar in hand, a sigh falling into the air as he did so. "What have you been doing then, if it was so easy? Isn't your DS dead or whatever?" he looked at Matt with a curious expression, studying in his face.

The redhead shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, removing his goggles from over his eyes and placing them on the top of his head. "Uhh, just sat around. Played around with some of my stuff... basically just waited for you. What the hell did you do?" he responded, abruptly turning the conversation back to Mello. Mello enjoyed talking about himself; the gamer wouldn't need to add much at all.

"...and I wen't out and got my own chocolate for once," he heard Mello say as he got up from the chair, starting to walk in circles. God forbid why the blonde did that. It hurt Matt's eyes to follow him, making his own vision twirl around and around.

"...heard some people say 'Oh my god is that Mello?!' and someone else say 'No, it's just a really good cosplayer'. I have no fucking idea what they were talking about. I wanted to shoot them. How did they know who I was?" That made his head snap up, wondering what the hell cosplayers were and if that had anything to do with fanfiction. He barely heard Mello grumble something about Americans before he rose, walking quicker than normal to the kitchen.

Matt was too easily tempted into looking at the fanfiction site he had stumbled upon, but he couldn't look at it with Mello in the room, could he? He now even had to look up cosplayers, dammit! This was just way too strange. Matt sighed, thumping his head on the counter while lighting a cigarette at the same time and inserting it between his lips.

Inhaling deeply on one of two of his addictions, he smiled out of relaxation. He could stil hear Mello's voice talking, obviously oblivious as to Matt's lack of presence in the room. The redhead began to walk back into the living room, knowing all to well the yelling his best friend would give him if he realized he was gone.

When he settled back into position, Mello was still pacing in circles. "Did you know there's a fucking town somewhere in Pennsylvania that makes Hershy chocolate? A FACTORY FULL OF CHOCOLATE MATT!"

Matt couldn't help but laugh, but he ended it abruptly, his mind trailing back to fanfiction.

Fuck temptation. Fuck temptation to hell. No, wait. Damn temptation to the deepest pits of hell.

* * *

A/N;

Mello is OOC, I know, and Matt possibly is too. This is going to be a parody of some pretty freaking sweet fanfics on here about MattxMello, or MattxNear, or MelloxNear. Just cool fanfics. That Matt discovers. And I'll parody some of my favorite youtube cosplayers as well.

The swingset thing I mentioned is a fanfic called Swings, written by Shashuko the Paisley Maiden

Read and review, please and thanks.

IF YOU HAVE ANY FANFICTIONS YOU'D LIKE ME TO HAVE MATT DISCOVER, REVIEW WITH AN **ACTUAL** REVIEW, AND THEN GIVE ME THE LINK. I'D PREFER IT IF IT WAS NOT ONE OF YOUR OWN, THOUGH, BUT YOU STILL CAN.

Love The NotSoSane Katie. :D


	2. Cosplayers

If I owned Death Note, L, Matt, and Mello would still be alive. Are they? I didn't think so, therefore Death Note is not mine

* * *

"Matt, I'm going to go tail one of those Japanese guys. I'll be back later. Keep your eyes open for anything suspicious. We can't afford you fucking something up now." Mello half grumbled, half hissed. He was just mad at the redhead for accidentally restarting his computer, along with all of his equipment, right in the middle of something important the previous day. That had just been a simple accident; there was no need for Mello to get so dramatic. He grunted a goodbye as the other male slammed the door shut.

Matt was seriously fed up with all of his roommate's constant nagging. He'd lived with a girl before, and Mello was even more nagging and demanding than that, and his overall appearance didn't help much when the redhead "accidentally" mistook him for a woman.

_Honestly, you'd think we're an old married couple._

That thought made Matt snort a laugh as he leaned forward on the floor, eyes dancing from computer screen to computer screen. Everything was always the same when one of the boys were tailing a Task Force member. What did Mello expect to happen? A person with a floating neon sign that flashed on and off above somebody's head that read THE NEW L AS WELL AS KIRA would walk into the headquarters?

He shot a glance at his main laptop, the only one not running an actual monitor, but held all the software he was currently using. Resiting the temptation of reading those stories had taken a lot out of him, despite the fact that it was only a full forty eight hours since he'd discovered them. Had he told Mello about them yet? No. Would he? Perhaps, when he wanted to die by being strangled by a chocolate wrapper.

Matt let an irritated sigh and the words 'I give up!' fall from his lips as he turned all of his attention onto the one laptop, doubleclicking on the little icon that led to the opening of Mozilla Firefox. Clicking on the address bar, he keyed in the letters, reading only twice to make sure he spelled correctly. When he was sure, he pressed the enter key, much too overexcited about the fact that he was giving into temptation.

Following multiple steps to get to where he wanted to go, Matt finally stumbled upon a page full of linking that led to multiple stories about Mihael Keehl and Mail Jeevas, along with the occasional adding of Nate River and L Lawliet.

Green eyes distorted by orange tinted goggles scanned the summaries, the occasional one leaping out in interest, though he resisted the urge to click on it. There were _a lot_ of people who seemed to know about his entire life, and this made the gamer check frantically behind both of his shoulders, each time noticing a white wall smiling menacingly back at him.

"So it was _you_! _You_ wrote about all these things under these different names!" Matt yelled to the wall, pointing at it accusingly. True, he had been the third most intelligent kid at Wammy's, but he certainly looked extremely stupid doing what he was doing.

A throaty, quivering laugh escaped from his lips, "Look at me. I haven't even read one of these things and I'm already accusing the wall of these dirty deeds." It seemed like he was simply making fun of what he just did, but Matt couldn't resist the odd urge that he should move to a different place on the floor, taking the computer with him. So, in a matter of seconds, the redhead was in the same position on the floor.. just on the opposite side of the room.

Sighing dramatically, Matt opened up a new tab on his Internet browser and typed in in the address bar. Once the site loaded, he typed in 'cosplayers'. He owed Mello something, didn't he? I mean, he should be nice and tell Mello what those people thought he was. What if a cosplayer was a banana? Yeah, Matt didn't think his roommate would enjoy being called a banana.

"Cosplay, short for "costume play", is a type of performance art whose participants outfit themselves, with often-elaborate and costumes and accessories as a specific character. Characters are usually sourced in various Japanese and East Asian media, including manga, anime, tokusatsu, comic books, novels, video games, and fantasy books." the male read out loud in a tone that clearly stated bewilderment.

"_What the fuck?!_" the redhead shouted, cringing as his voice echoed and bounced off the walls. So how did people know who Mello was, but said he was a cosplayer, if cosplayers dress up as characters?! Matt wasn't a character in the Japanese Media and neither was Mello! They were both fully alive and walking and breathing and talking and _actually real goddammit_!

Clicking on the address bar once more, the website '' was easily typed in, and loaded faster than Matt was used to. In the search bar, his trembling fingertips typed 'Matt and Mello cosplay', and he scrolled through the entire that popped up. "Matt and Mello: Car Wash." he whispered to himself, clicking on the video.

Matt blinked at what came up, literally frozen with shock.One of the people looked like Mello, not exactly like he'd confuse the person with Mihael Keehl but close enough, and the other looked like him except with non-red hair.

How the fuck did these people know what they looked like? How did they know who they were?!

Matt blinked, shaking his head vigorously before he clicked the little red X that shut down his Internet. Too much insanity for him in one day, and it'd only been an hour. He sighed, moving back to his monitors.

"AH SHIT!" the redhead screamed, glaring at one of the monitors. The delivery guy that came to the Japanese girl and Task Force Guy's house was counting a wad of cash, smirking wildly. Matt picked up his ringing cellphone on the floor, listening to an angry Mello on the other end saying how Mogi and Amane were at LAX.

Damn cosplayers and damn fanfiction. Mello would never forgive him for fucking up two days in a row.

* * *

Wouldn't you wonder about what Matt was doing when Mello saw Mogi and Misa at LAX in the manga and he was all SHIT THEY GOT ME? WEll, this is my interpretation. XD

I seriously got the cosplay information off of wikipedia.

Matt and Mello - Car Wash is thanks to the FABULOUSLYAMAZING cosplayers 'masterchiefette' and her twin sister 'lolroflcopters' at youtube. Check out masterchiefette's youtube account for hilarity. :D

Read and review, please and thanks.

IF YOU HAVE ANY FANFICTIONS YOU'D LIKE ME TO HAVE MATT DISCOVER, REVIEW WITH AN **ACTUAL** REVIEW, AND THEN GIVE ME THE LINK. I'D PREFER IT IF IT WAS NOT ONE OF YOUR OWN, THOUGH, BUT YOU STILL CAN. SAME GOES FOR YOUTUBE COSPLAYERS.

I will parody only one fanfiction and/or one cosplayer at a time per chapter.


	3. OMFGMELLO

If I owned Death Note, L, Matt, and Mello would still be alive. Are they? I didn't think so, therefore Death Note is not mine.

* * *

"Why do you fuck every single thing up?!" Mello screamed, his eyes narrowing. His tone of voice expressed hate and venom to a certain extreme. So the screw up by the redhead the previous week had landed them in Japan... so what? True, they hadn't exactly had the money to fly to the other side of the world, but hey, they could visit Germany some time now that they were in Asia!

"Goddammit, Mello! It's been a fucking week since I've done anything wrong! I don't fuck up unless I'm working for you because your shit is too easy for me to pay attention to! It gets boring! At least I haven't fucked up my entire life by being second to some fucking albino kid who still thinks he's six!"

Matt regretted saying the last sentence as soon as it rolled off his tongue. Mello blinked, causing Matt to step back. The blonde's face filled with more anger at the comment, and the gamer stepped back again, anticipating a hard punch to his gut.

A fist collided with his nose, and he heard a sickening noise as it broke. Matt muttered a string of curse words under his breath as he tried to reposition his nose, biting his bottom lip when the pain stung. He stalked into the kitchen, finding only masking tap to put on his nose. More curse words fell from his lips as the blood from his nose fell into his mouth, mixing with the blood that started to fall from his bitten bottom lip.

"Fuck you, Mello." the redhead hissed once he exited the kitchen, glaring at the male sitting in one of the chairs in the living room. Mello looked up at him, a piece of chocolate in between his lips. He smirked, standing up.

"You can't fix a broken nose with masking tape, you idiot." the blonde said, his voice sounding as if he was suppressing laughter.

Matt blinked, cocking his head slightly to the right, and punched Mello's stomach with as much strength as he could gather despite the pain on his face. Mello curled in reflexively, and Matt could hear his breathing come out in short gasps.

"What... the... fucking... hell... Matt?" he coughed out, glaring up at him.

"Once is once." the redhead smirked, shine in his green eyes. True, this was probably going to result in a gunshot through his temple while he was sleeping tonight, but that was the least of his worries.

After a while, both boys were sitting down on opposite sides of the room. One was eating chocolate and looking at the other, and the other was studying the laptop screen.

Matt blinked, scrolling through the lists of fanfictions. He'd read a few, and they confused him more than anything else. He sighed, placing his elbow on the coffee table and resting his chin in his hands.

How odd that the two boys could act like their nose wasn't broken and that they weren't having trouble breathing.

A sigh fell from the redhead's lips and into the air as he lazily continued scrolling through the fanfictions. Most of these were angst-driven things about Light Yagami – whoever the fuck that was – and L. True, he hadn't read anything regarding those two, but who wanted angst when your cartilage was shattered?

After what seemed like an eternity of searching through the site's database, he brought the trackpad's little arrow cursor pixel thing, which is what Mello's lack of knowledge with technology led him to call it and the redhead just found that so damn amusing, to a link that read 'Restart' and clicked on it.

Reading through the "fictional" story, it looked like his green eyes were going to pop right out of their sockets; he was staring at the screen terribly wide-eyed.

Poor Matt. He was probably going to die of a high blood pressure induced heart attack one of these days.

In a few minutes he was finished reading all the words on the screen, it felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest, not because the story was about him and his best friend but because said best friend died because of Kira. He shot a worried glance at Mello, who had been studying him the entire time while going through five packs of funsized Hershy bars.

"What, Matt?" Mello's deep voice hit Matt's eardrums, but they didn't register in his brain. Matt was too concerned with what he'd just read.

"MELLO! YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" his voice came out louder than he meant it too, and it went up several octaves as he fell off of the chair.

"All I did was break your nose. I think you shattered a rib of mine." the blonde hissed, biting into another Hershy bar.

The redhead shook his head vigorously. "No not that! You're going to die by Kira! Apparently I'm supposed to die too because I hate wearing bulletproof vests and... and.. and.. MELLO WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE! OR YOU ARE AT THE VERY LEAST!"

"What are you talking about?

"THIS! READ THIS!"

Matt all but tossed the laptop across the room.

He watched as his roommate read the fan "fiction" and then a thought hit him like a speeding bullet, with no pun intended.

He hadn't told Mello what fanfiction was or how he had been reading it. Not the brightest bulb in the box when he was having a panic attack, obviously.

"..what the fucking hell is this shit, Matt?" Mello's voice startled him, but Matt stood up anyway and went over to where his precious laptop was.

"It's called fanfiction. People all around the world write stories about... things... and post it on here." Matt's chest was rising and falling heavily as he tried to gain his steady breathing pace once more. He trailed into a speech about how he found lots of things on Mello and Matt, themselves.

"How the fuck did they get our names?"

"Beats me."

"...so... I die by Kira? Kidnapping some woman?"

"If this shit is true."

"Which it isn't."

"I hope not."

"Get your head out of the fucking clouds, Mail. I have no fucking clue about how about a hundred trillion people know our names and faces and what the fuck else about us, but there's no way I'm dying because of _Kira_. I'm not going to lose my life for that bastard doing some stupid shit like kidnapping his spokesperson. And anyway, Demegawa is the bastard's tool right now, now some lady."

"Dammit, Mello, I know that! I'm not going to get myself gunned down! I'm not wearing a bulletproof vest, either. Nor am I dying my hair dark brown and getting a red and black striped shirt either!"

"Then it's settled."

"What is?" Matt's tone of voice indicated confusion. Where did this conversation turn to?

"We aren't gay with each other." Mello smirked again.

"When the fuck were we talking about that?" The redhead couldn't stop a blush that started to faintly appear on his cheeks.

"Why the fuck have you muttered stuff about it in your sleep?" Mello retorted, smirk gone and replaced with a frown and narrowed eyes.

"Uhm.. reading... it...?" Matt stammered, the blush deepening.

"Well stop, Matt. This fake shit is going to mess with your head. Remember, we're capturing Kira's head and going to make Near be number three and we'll be numbers one and two. Keep your fucking sanity."

Matt could only nod as Mello pressed the off button on the computer. The gamer headed for the door. He needed more cigarettes since he'd run out of them the previous day and forgot to go buy more.

"Oh, and while your gone, pick up my chocolate. These fucking things are too small." he heard Mello's demand right before he shut the door.

Would it really be so bad if Mello died during that stunt if it really happened to the two? He contemplated the thought for a moment outside the apartment door. In a few minutes, he thought of his answer.

Yes. Yes it would be bad if Mello died if that happened. Matt couldn't think of doing anything without him and his bossiness and his girly appearance and bad eating habits.

Love was getting on his nerves lately, almost as bad as fanfiction.

* * *

I'm sorry for the semi-slow update, you guys. School started and that eats up a lot of my time, so don't expect updates until the weekends, okay? I might make new oneshots, but chapters for this eat up my muse and require a hell of a lot of it, too. Plus, I'm half asleep right now because I slept all fucking day today. No joke.

As usual, you may give me links to fanfiction and youtube cosplayers. However, I **do** have a plan for ones where Matt has his death scenes and Mello as well. I know exactly what I'm doing with those. Bare with me pleaseeee if you don't see your fanfic here yet. I'm planning on using every single one that is requested... unless I get like.. fifty of them. /

Fanfiction: Restart by Amaya the Winged Fox.

Anyway, read and review and such.


	4. Mello is like the hulk with chocolate

If I owned Death Note, L, Matt, and Mello would still be alive. Are they? I didn't think so, therefore Death Note is not mine.

This chapter is more Mellocentric then Mattcentric, but only slightly.

Much thanks and love to my beta reader Forgotten.Thirteen aka Rasko! :D

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing, Matt?"

He heard the voice and wanted to reply, but he could only grin like an idiot as his knees and chest were turning purple. The mix of being disturbed and being confused that appeared on the blonde's face almost made the other want to burst out in amusement. Several long moments passed that consisted only of the odd stares from Mello and the thumping around on the floor from Matt.

"It's called the worm, Mells," Matt responded as soon as he stood up from the hardwood floor. True, he hadn't exactly mastered the dance move, but practice made perfect.

"Why the fuck do you want to be a worm?" Mello's voice was slightly distorted due to his biting and chewing of his half gone chocolate bar.

The redhead flashed another goofy grin towards his best friend and sat down next to him on the couch, enjoying this moment.

"Because we need to go clubbing sometime soon, and think of the money we'd make if we became street performers!" the gamer's voice indicated actual excitement, much to the blonde's dismay. Within moments of realizing just how serious the statement was, Mello's eyes narrowed as he swallowed the chocolate in his mouth.

"Matt, what the fuck are you thinking? I was in the Mafia _in America_. I blew up a Mafia base _in America_. If anybody finds out who I am because I start street performing that'd be even more embarrassing then losing a game show to Near because I got a question about leather wrong."

"That reminds me."

Mello blinked in confusion at his best friend next to him, any previous irritation suddenly gone now that he had this new headache. He didn't have to speak or grunt a noise to force him to clarify.

"I read a few things online – don't hit me, Mello... put the gun down – about you and Near going head to head and the final question, which would be a tie breaker, would be about leather."

"And did I win?"

Matt ignored him.

"Then there was one where L and that unknown kid Light Yagami were on the American show, 'Cash Cab', which I watched yesterday by the way, and we had to help answer questions and... and... and... it's entertaining."

Matt blinked when he was explaining the awesomeness that was such.

"...what the fucking hell, Matt." Mello snapped in sync with biting into his chocolate bar.

A pout appeared on the redhead's lips. "Just read it, Mells. You might not like it, but at least do something for me. I feel like a slave bitch because I constantly kiss your ass and work for you."

The older, blond haired roommate growled something that was rather impossible to make out and narrowed his eyes as the younger boy opened up the Internet, clicking on the bookmark that opened the desired webpage.

As Mello's eyes scanned the fanfiction, Matt just sat there staring at him and grinning foolishly once more. Something had happened to that boy, and it wasn't anything good.

"...WHO THE FUCK IS LIGHT YAGAMI?!" Mello's shrieking, high octave scream almost caused Matt to fall backwards and knock the lamp off of the coffee table.

"I... dun...no..." the redhead panted, rubbing his ears. It was amazing that they didn't start to bleed.

"WHY DID HE MAKE OUT WITH L AND… AND… AND… WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE MISTAKE ME FOR A GIRL?!" The gamer almost wanted to snatch his laptop from in front of his friend out of fear that it was going to get crushed by the angry blond.

"AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW THE HELL DID PEOPLE KNOW THIS HAPPENED JUST A WEEK OR SO AGO?!"

That one made Matt look up. "What're you talking about, Mells?"

Mello was breathing heavily, his once red face now returning to it's normal pale pallor. "I mean that when I told you about those people calling me a cosplayer, y'know that day... I saw L and that Yagami kid and the Yagami kid was screaming at me and calling me a girl and I told L he answer was Corinthian leather." The statement was closed by the sound of chocolate snapping vigorously.

"...why the fuck didn't you tell me, Mello?"

"You never told me about this fanfiction shit until a couple of days ago, Matt."

"But was it not important enough?!"

"Uh-uh."

Matt seriously felt like bruising his roommate's ribcage again, but all he did was flex his hands so they changed from fists to open palms multiple times. After a couple of minutes of a narrow eyed staring contest between the two boys, the blond stood up and began to head for the door, picking up multiple chocolate bars along the way.

Matt heard the jingle of the doorknob as Mello's hand turned it, and he was still seething enough not to really care whether he said that Mello hated him or asked if he wanted to fuck. Therefore, it took another minute for the words to hit his eardrums.

"Why have you been so paranoid and foolish lately, Matt?"

"Videogame withdrawal," was slurred slightly when he placed a lit cigarette between his lips.

"Your DS is charged and is sitting in the bedroom, you moron."

The redhead grinned sheepishly. "Too lazy to go get it. Plus, the Mello Sim keeps fucking with the Amane Sim, and it's getting on my nerves that they both drown in the pool with a ladder there."

Mello rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like "Why do I even fucking bother" and it took Matt longer than it should have to respond to the hushed words.

"Smooches."

He could've sworn he heard some chuckling a split second before the door slammed shut, engulfing him in silence and loneliness.

* * *

I HAVE A REQUEST FOR YOU ALL.

GO TO YOUTUBE AND SEARCH FOR JUMP BY MADONNA OFFICIAL VIDEO AND TELL ME IF YOU TIHNK SHE'S COSPLAYING MELLO OR NOT. D:

Depending on whether or not I make yearbook staff at my school, this story will be updated on the weekends. With yearbook we need to take pictures of the games and stuff and I'm not fully aware of whether or not some of those are on the weekends. Anywaaayyy.

Review and such. They make me happy. Sorry this was so short, by the way, but I haven't been in the mood for writing anything humorous lately and have been thinking of only angst so.. yeah. xD

Same requesting deals are allowed and now I'm taking requests for fanfiction, cosplayers, and fanart peoples! :D

Fanfiction: Cash Cab Insanity by Hari-Aisu.


	5. MATTANGRY MATTIE SMASHHHH

I do not own death note or anything pretaining to that.. yada yada yada.

* * *

"Maaaaaaatttttttttt!" Mello whined, a pitiful look on his face. His lip was also in pout formation, causing the redhead to almost feel sorry for him. However, he chose to act oblivious.

"What?" he asked sweetly, forcing a smile on his face when he had to look at his best friend and also guy-he's-in-love-with's sadness filled eyes.

"Why does Near have to come over? I thought we didn't like him!" Holy fuck. Mello could be a whiny little thirteen year old girl when he wanted to be.

"Because, Mello, it's his fucking birthday. I asked Lidner and Rester if he could spend the day with his old friends – okay the term friends is applied loosely but still – and they said as long as we don't intend to murder him, it's fine."

"**BUT MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!**"

"Shut up Mello or I'll fucking shoot you!" Matt hissed, rubbing his temples gently with both thumbs.

He heard a huff come from the blonde haired boy as he plopped down on the couch. "What crawled up your ass and died, Mail?" he muttered, biting into a newly opened chocolate bar.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT CRAWLED UP MY ASS AND DIED, MIHAEL!" Matt spun around, his own gun pointed at the blonde, though the blonde managed to pull his own gun out at the same time, it pointing at the redhead.

The next fifteen minutes consisted of them frozen like this, both in a staring contest of narrowed eyes and cocked guns, ready to shoot a bullet whenever the triggers were given enough pressure.

"Honestly Matt, who do you think has a better reaction time if one of us was to apply the slightest pressure on that trigger?" Mello asked, his voice sounding as if he was pissed and suppressing laughter.

Matt's glare deepened, and he lowered his gun. "Fuck you, Keehl." he muttered, turning around to look out the peep hole on the apartment door.

"Just tell me when and where, babe." the blonde coughed out, laughing.

It was a joke, something they'd always done ever since they were kids, but now Matt could only fake laugh a tiny bit and try to cover up the fact that his pale face was now a tomato.

"Want me to take you up on that offer?" Matt asked a split second before he could contain it. Mello's coughing laughter stopped, and Matt could feel his eyes boring into his back, and the redhead couldn't bring himself to turn around to meet those eyes. If he was a tomato before, he was as red as his own blood once it hit air.

"Fucking Jesus Christ on a Popsicle stick, Matt!" Mello started, and the sound of boots hitting the wooden floor hit Matt's eardrums. In a second, he felt two hands on his shoulders, and he was spun around. Basically, he was forced to face the badass Mello with the scar on the left side of his face.

Kill joy.

"I don't know what type of fantasies those fanfictions have stirred up in your mind, Mail Jeevas, but clear your fucking head. I think they've screwed your sexuality, and I don't give a damn. Your gay, that's awesome. But stop moaning my name and telling me to go faster in your fucking sleep. Don't think about that shit, and don't ever respond to that joke like that. It makes me sick to think that my best friend is thinking about me that way." Way to get bent out of shape, the oh-so-wise Mihael Keehl.

Matt had to fight back the hot tears that were threatening to pool over into his goggles and he just nodded, twisting out of his friend's grasp to go back to the apartment door. Once he got to look out the peep hole and saw the top of Near's white head, Matt pulled off the giggles, wiping furiously at his eyes.

Opening the door after the tiny little knock, Matt put on his best smile, and looked up at Mello so he could do the same.

"Happy birthday, Near!" the redhead chimed in happily, studying the action figures and finger puppets in the younger boy's arms.

"Happy birthday, Near." Mello, however, voiced it rather pained and strained, basically reluctantly.

"Thank you, Matt. Mello." his monotonous voice rivaled L's, and the white haired boy took a seat on the floor in the middle of the room. He put his action figures in one pile, finger puppets in another. Matt just happened to catch a quick glance at a Mello finger puppet and a finger puppet of himself.

"Er..., y'know Near.. you can sit on the couch.. or in a chair. We aren't going to beat you up if you get on our stuff like we did at Wammy's." The gamer was surprised when it was Mello who chimed in with this.

"I'm aware, Mello. You may ask my colleagues if you wish to prove this, but I prefer sitting on the floor than on furniture." The faintest hint of a smile appeared on his lips before he went back to his toys.

After a couple of hours that consisted of present opening, cake eating, and forcing Near into sitting on a chair and not play with his toys, the three found themselves getting along. Or, at least, Mello and Near were. Matt was ignoring them, going down the list of fanfiction involving Mello and other people. He couldn't get the extremely harsh words that his roommate had spoken to him out of his head, and it was driving him insane.

Matt clicked on the link of one fanfiction, called Cherry Stems which in the summary had stated MelloxNear. The redheaded boy had no idea what that meant, but he was going to read it anyway out of sheer boredom and lack of wanting to listen to Mello's tale of being in the Mafia, one of which he'd heard several millions of times.

The second he was done reading it, he heard something that was all too familiar.

"Hey, Near, want to know something interesting?"

"Not really, Mello." Sarcasm.

"Did you know that if you can tie a cherry stem with your tongue, it means you're amazing at kissing?"

"Whatever you say, Mello." Near rolled his eyes, obviously not buying it.

"Here, watch!"

Mello popped a cherry from the bowl that was sitting in front of the two boys into his mouth, eating the fruit before tying the stem.

"Let's see you do that!"

"Looks easy." Near muttered, but failed after several tries of attempting to tie the stem.

"Wow, you have a talent. Amazing, Mello. But it says nothing about your kissing abilities."

Mello scoffed. "Would you like to test them out?"

Near had a blush beginning on his cheeks.

"Not reall-"

He was cut off by Mello's lips against his, and before Matt knew it, he was watching a makeout session get into steamier boundaries.

"OKAY OKAY, BREAK IT UP OR I'M SHOOTING ONE OF YOU IN THE MOUTH!" Matt screamed, his voice surprisingly not going up any octaves and making him sound shrilly.

Mello glared at him. "Way to be a kill joy." Near nodded in agreement.

"Me?! ME?! LOOK AT YOURSELF, MIHAEL KEEHL! YOU KNOW SOMEBODY CLOSE TO YOU HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU AND.. AND... AND.. YOU'RE TOO FUCKING BLIND TO SEE IT WAS BEFORE A FANFICTION THING, THOUGH. AWESOME, I'M GAY, BUT I'VE BEEN GAY SINCE I WAS ELEVEN. AND I'VE ONLY HAD EYES FOR YOU, YOU BASTARD! BUT WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU CUT THROUGH EVERY SINGLE HAPPY THING IN LIFE WITH A SHORT OUTBURST OF IT'S MAKNIG YOU SICK THAT I SEE YOU THAT WAY! SO YOU SAY I'M A KILL JOY? EVALUATE YOURSELF, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!" Matt panted heavily after his screaming outburst, glaring at both of the boys in front of him. Those two were staring at him, mouths agape, completely speechless.

The redhead stormed into the bedroom, grabbing his Ds and reappearing in the living room, then grabbed his numerous packs of cigarettes and his car keys, and walked out of the apartment with a wall shaking SLAM.

* * *

Was this chapter humorous? I don't think it was, but hell, what do I know? xD

UPDATED EARLY BECAUSE A FUCKING HURRICANE TRAVELED UP THE COUNTRY TO THE STATE WHERE I LIVE AND TOOK OUT MY POWER FOR THREE DAYS.

And it's going to ake a week for power to be on for eveerrryyyonneee. xD But I have no school so... why the hell not? I might ont have school this entire week, so yay!

And I was pissed. Because I wanted to check my reviews. Dx But could I until today? Nuuuuuu.

I'll give you 3 guesses for where I live. Hint: Not Texas. xD

Anyway, another request: I want to write an abuse multichapter fic, but I dunno which pairing. You tell me! :D MelloxMatt or MelloxNear. Either way, Mello will be the abusee not abuser.

Read and review and such. Do you know how much they make me happy when I know someone likes my writing? Very. :D

Fanfiction: Cherry Stems by Messy Cubical


	6. Mello invented deer in headlights FTW

Disclaimed.

MUCH LOVE AND THANKS TO MY BETA, FORGOTTEN.THIRTEEN AKA RASKO! :D

This chapter will NOT parody anything. I feel sorry for providing a humor story with angst. So this is my filler chapter. I've been depressed lately so yeah, sorry. I'll attempt to get back into the swing of things soon! :D

* * *

"Stupid Mello," Matt muttered, stomping up the steps that led to the door of their apartment. So, he'd been gone a month, and he wasn't sure how he managed to stay sane, though he guessed it was because he kept himself fuming over the words that made his chest ache. After what seemed like an eternity of stairs, the redhead felt like he was going to fall backwards. Why the fuck had he not taken the elevator?

Finally, he arrived at the top of the staircase and he was forced to drag himself up from the top step. Whoever had invented stairs was damned to go to hell, or at least that's the way he saw it.

Stepping in front of the door that read the number 666 – ironically enough – he shoved the key that had been into his pocket into the hole and twisted the knob, almost frightened of the doom in which he'd face. What he saw almost made Matt want to make sure he had opened the door to the right room. He'd copied the keys to some of the neighbors out of boredom one time, and it wasn't a lie when he said he'd accidentally went into their room before.

Mello was sitting in the chair he'd always sat in and he was leaning over, head in hands and his blonde hair covering his facial expression. Around him were several chocolate wrappers and numerous bottles of booze. He didn't appear to hear Matt's entrance. The redhead blinked and cocked his head slightly to the side, setting his keys, cigarettes, and DS on the floor. "Yo, Mello." It was a horrible attempt to get his attention, and therefore it failed miserably. The blonde didn't move, and the boy could feel his anger rising.

Walking over to the older boy, Matt was still shocked that he hadn't moved due to the sound of his boots hitting the floor. Was he...? No, the redhead didn't even want to finish that question.

"HEY MELLO!" Matt's high octave scream made him sound shrilly, and he vigorously waved his hand in front of the blonde's blue eyes, which had been glassy and were staring at nothing. The Mello-Statue jumped, falling forward and knocking both him and Matt onto the coffee table.

"M..Matt?" he seemed to be questioning whether or not it was a hallucination. The redhead wasn't entirely slow, you know.

"Hey there, Mello," cue the big, cheesy grin, "you doing a'ight? Am I going to need to buy more booze and chocolate? OH GOOD NEWS! Mello Sim stopped fucking with the Amane sim, since she got caught cheating on him with the L Sim."

Matt always knew what to say, didn't he? Mello stared at him, as if trying to decipher any physical differences that would lead to the conclusion that it was not Mail Jeevas in which he was laying on top of.

"Er... Mello... off. Now," Matt muttered, pushing the now frozen blonde off of him and into the floor. It definitely wasn't the real Matt now, or at least not the one Mello knew.

"N-N-No... you are not Matt," he whispered, staring wide-eyed at the other boy. Now it was Matt's turn to be shocked.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I. Am. Matt." he snapped, obviously annoyed now that his friend, who was number two at a brilliant institution for God sake, couldn't figure out that he'd come back.

"You are not my Mail Jeevas, though," Mello's voice rose in volume, but he still held that wide-eyed look. It made him look frightened and pitiful. And Matt simply could not handle it.

"What are you talking about, Mihael Keehl?" the redhead whispered, his anger subsiding faster than he wanted it to. Looking at how scared his best friend was made him want to cry.

"You aren't yourself.. my Matt doesn't leave for a month." The color was returning to his face, and is eyes were slowly narrowing, looking at him accusingly.

"You broke my heart," Matt whispered sullenly, looking at the ground and attempting to fight back tears once more.

"Sorry," Mello choked out, and they both knew all too well how little Mello said that word, and how little he enjoyed saying it.

"It's a'ight," the redhead sighed, smiling at him again.

"Not really, but whatever," the other retorted, scanning the mess of alcohol bottles and candy wrappers around him.

"So.. you were pretty messed up, eh?" Matt asked, smile faltering, crossing his legs and shifting to a more comfortable position on top of the coffee table.

"I guess so."

Now it was his turn. "Sorry," he mumbled, blushing with a sheepish look on his face.

"I can't understand anything you're saying.. are you speaking bat? IS THAT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" Mello nearly shouted, a stupid grin on his face. Matt looked up, confused.

"What the hell?"

Mello frowned. "Nothing. Hey, Matt..."

"Yeah?"

"Will you, uhh... sleep in my bed with me tonight? So I know you don't leave me again? I might not have a crush on you, but you are my best friend."

Matt didn't know whether to be hurt or happy at that statement. That was part of Mello's charm, though; he made people not know what to say or how to feel.

"Yeah sure, Mello."

A true, genuine smile crossed the badass ex-Mafia member's lips for a split second before he pushed himself off the floor.

"'Ey, slave bitch, go get more booze and chocolate," Mello growled, eyes narrowing once more at the redhead.

Matt laughed, another huge grin staying in place on his lips. "Yessir, Commander Keehl!" He closed his statement with a salute and hopped off the table, jogging over to the door and picking up his keys.

"You coming with me?" the gamer asked, a faint hint of excitement in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Mello scowled, following in suit with his arms crossed over his chest.

Mello was just glad Matt was back.

Matt was just glad Mello missed him.

* * *

Fwee! I have another request for you guys. xD I'm not lazy, I promise!

I need suggestions for a username on FFN for Matty-Bear. Send me a message / review with your suggestion. ALSO. **Send me a message** if you have any profile information for him. I'm reducing bias here, folks.

ANDANDANDAND.

Do you want me to change this from onesided MattxMello to actual MattxMello and just say Mello's in denial.. plus all the MxM fics there is to parody.. :D Tell me over review liek you all have beeeennn

Review and such. They make me happeh. :D

ALSO: Time lapse, I know. You can let your mind wander and visualize what the two did for a month.


	7. AUTHORS NOTE 2

I feel like shit for doing this, but I'm putting Matt Discovers Fanfiction on indefinite postponement. Which is basically a hiatus... except... yeah. I see a difference, though there quite isn't one.

I've been trying ever since I put up my last A/N to write up the next chapter but my muse is refusing to cooperate and every inspirational song is killing any ideas I had instead of making them better. If I get ideas, it's completely impossible to write out or I can't find a fanfiction that suits them or a cosplayer that suits them. And, for some unknown reason to myself or those around me, I turned to watching anime episodes of OHSHC for the twins' relationship for muse and late Death Note episodes for any trace of ideas or inspiration. I am coming up on blanks, except I'm highly inspired to write angsty twincests for OHSHC, but whatever.

Do not think that I hate you all and do not find out where I live and show up at my doorstep and/or sneak into my bedroom with pitchforks and lit torches. As soon as I figure out what I want to do, I swear to Kira I'll write it down and update it for you.

If there's any questions or anything you need to know (besides my location -coughcough-) feel free to email me. My email link is visible on my profile, so just click that.

I'm sorry, I really am. Damn, I'm making too big a deal out of this, aren't I?

But pray for me, please. P I entered a writing contest at my library and one of the prizes is recognition by like, real authors or some shit, and I think that'd be awesome to win. (Plus I need a new flash drive which is a prize, too...-cough-)

Lots of love. :D

Katie / AC


End file.
